Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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