Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
