So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
