Only a mothe r could love this liver
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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