We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
