Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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