Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
