I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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