I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
