You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
