Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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