WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
