My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
