we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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