I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
