They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
