Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Be still, my beating vagina.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
