he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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