we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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