he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize