So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
