Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
