Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize