Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize