Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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