Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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