She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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