i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize