well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
