I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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