K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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