I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
4 words: hood of his car
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
