I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
