Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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