Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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