The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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