question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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