Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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