You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
