I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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