i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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