some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
