What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize