You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
