Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
