just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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