woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
