I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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