Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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