i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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