she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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