hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
