He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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