Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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