3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
