I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
