I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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