Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
