he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
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her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
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He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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