so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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