I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
