from now on my penis is your penis
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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